Laughing at my expense

I, like many others my age, have a complicated and complex relationship with religion and God.  No, I'm not really interested in talking about it now, so don't bother.  However, God was definitely laughing at my expense yesterday.  After a funny incidence or two at work (which I don't want to talk about because, well, I don't want to get FIRED), I then got lost walking around DC trying to find a Bank of America.  Then, last night was the icing on the cake.  I had been sitting in bed after posting for a couple of hours and chatting on Facebook with my friend, Tracy.  Rocky began to get restless when I noticed it was after 11:00 and he needed to go outside.  I was dressed in sweats and a tank top, and (warning about to talk about boobs) no bra.  Now, I didn't mind taking Rocky outside, but I was dreading the thought of putting on a bra.  It's the whole process really and they are very uncomfortable.  Seriously, when I'm old and retired, I'm taking mine off and never putting one back on.  Plus, I'm, um, well endowed.  They are embarrassing without a bra on.  Someone two miles away could tell I wasn't wearing a bra.  Anyway, I saw a sweatshirt and put it on thinking that it would somewhat hid my embarrassing "fun bags".  It was about 11:30 and I knew that not very many people would be out walking.  I thought I had gotten away with it when on the last leg of our walk, I ran into a lady who I met on Sunday.  She too was out walking her dog.  I immediately crossed my arms and said hello.  The next thing I know her husband, two friends, and her neighbor were outside.  Apparently, they were having a dinner party and everyone wanted to enjoy the nice night.  My anxiety was rising and the only thing I could think was, "I have to get inside and away from these people."  I quickly mumbled something about it being late and started walking away.  That's when I heard my name.  I looked up to see my neighbor waving.  Suddenly, my body jerked forward and I was looking at the sidewalk.  I had fallen.  Tripped over some invisible something.  Everyone was around me.  My neighbor, the lady walking her dog, her husband, her neighbor, and her two friends.  I was trying to get up so no one would notice my bralessness.  Unfortunately, my sweatshirt had creeped up my back and no one was going to let me get up with out help.  Let's just say having someone help you get up while trying to pull your shirt down and cross your arms across your chest, is a big fat fail.  I'm pretty sure everyone noticed I wasn't wearing a bra because they averted their eyes and walked away quickly.

The only thing I could think was, "I'll never call a 7-11 or Bank of America manna from heaven ever again, God.  Happy now?!"